the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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