Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
