Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
