My nipple is on Facebook.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
