i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
