Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
