wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
