hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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