Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
