Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
