Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
