I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize