i just wanna soil my oats bro
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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