Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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