But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize