You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
