Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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