Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
