it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
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