I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's rum buckets o'clock
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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