Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I need moral support for this bender
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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