I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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