i don't like sucking hair
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
