So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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