Sry I called you an 8
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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