I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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