brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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