When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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