Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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