I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
