My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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