She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
