Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
