You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
