how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
