He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize