why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
