3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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