dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
