He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She's JV to your varsity
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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