This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
