At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
