Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
