I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
