The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
