I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
