haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
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