either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
