AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We need to rekindle our bromance
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
