Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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