I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm sobbing to NWA
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
