no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Actions speak louder than pants.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize