You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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