I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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