OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
