you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
