dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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