i think i have two assholes
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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