return my video game
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
