maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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