She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
