My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
